Advice, ideas, discussions and stories about raising children, being pregnant, and planning a family. We love talking about living naturally & organically, baby wearing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding and having fun raising your children.
Gratitiude can present itself in so many ways. I always prided myself on expressing gratitude to strangers, for excellent customer service, etc. But in the last couple of years I feel I have become “too busy” to notice or certainly to think about all that I have for which to be grateful.
I usually express that I am grateful for my 2 wonderful children but beyond that it drops off. My poor husband gets none of it, and if a stranger went out of their way now I probably wouldn’t even notice it.
Therefore, in our house we instituted a “what I am grateful for” policy. Every evening at dinner we go around the table to each state what stood out that day for us. Was it a particularly beautiful day to play outside, did a friend do or say something nice to us that day, were we grateful for a much needed hug or kiss (hopefully not from a stranger)?
It has been so fun to spend some time thinking about the little things that make our days. Often times for my 4 year old she is being silly and is grateful for something dealing with her imaginary friend, and of course my 2 year old copies everything she says. But we just go with it and get a glimpse into their brains and see just what they are capable of creating with their own minds. And other times they say they are grateful for us, which melts our hearts.
What do you do when your child tells you that they're afraid of a monster under their bed? Or that there's something hiding in the corner of their room? Just as each child is unique, so is each fear, yet one common factor for everyone, even adults, is that whatever we fear it is very real for us. So how do we comfort children in the face of their fears?
Here are four ideas we hope will help and inspire you on those nights when your child can't sleep in the dark.
Nightlights
If your child has a fear of the dark or trouble sleeping, try a nightlight like the Boon Glo. Nightlights provide just enough light to comfort a child without hindering their sleep. What we love about the Boon Glo is that the three Glo balls stay cool to the touch so your child can pick them up and hold them close.
If nightlights aren’t for you, then try leaving the hallway light on. That way your child is reminded that you’re close by and he or she is safe.
What you’ll need: a spray bottle, tap water, and a few drops of lavender essential oil. Mix the water and lavender in the bottle, and at bedtime let your child give a few short blasts in all the areas monsters like to hide.
Monster Spray helps your child take action against his or her fears. Using an essential oil for a scent make the spray a little more special. We like lavender because it’s so soothing, especially for right before bedtime.
Give your child a nighttime guardian. This could be done in several different ways. If your family has a dog, you can send him in to sniff out any monsters that might be lurking in dark corners or under the bed. Once your dog has given the all clear, your little one will know it’s safe to go to bed. And if necessary the dog can stay for the night.
Or find a soft toy that can stand in as your child’s special nighttime guardian. A stuffed animal or doll would work great, or you could make your child a monster friend!
If your child is unable to sleep, ask him or her to tell you a story. Sheri does this with her granddaughter, and it really works. Stories help because they distract children from their fear until they feel better and can fall asleep. When you and your child share stories with each other, your child is comforted by the resolution and happy endings of those stories.
Stories can also help change how your child looks at their fear. With stories, you can ask a child to imagine a different scenario. If there's a monster under the bed, is it possible that it's not scary and dangerous? Maybe it growls and snarls because it doesn't know how to speak, and it needs a friend to teach it how. Help your child take control by turning the tables on his or her fear.
How do you address fear in your family? What has worked for you and your children?
About a week ago we went geocaching with my niece, nephew, sister and brother-in-law. We had never been before and had no idea how much fun it could be. It was a beautiful winter day, and our little Belle Island was packed with people and rain puddles (which was all my 2 year old nephew needed for fun).
As we walked the island looking for our treasures we laughed, we talked, we played tag (my 4 year old niece has just gotten really good at this and after a few rounds I was quickly reminded I had wanted to start exercising this year to get into better shape). I stopped a few times to Instagram some photos and immediately had 2 little volunteers anxious to help with the photographing. I handed over my phone and watched them take pictures.
When I got home that night I had a laugh with J. at the pictures P. & H. took. Most were of their own fingers over the lens or the ground and then a lot of our knee caps, bums, hips and thighs. As I reviewed the photos it started to sink in that this is the way they see the world. Their perspective is much different than mine, luckily I don't look at bums and thighs all day, but I also miss the tiny little details they do. I forget to find wonder in the small things. I forget how fun it is to collect rocks, jump in rain puddles, whisper so you don't wake imaginary bears, and to run up to someone you are with and give them hugs and kisses for no reason. I forget what all of these things mean in the course of a day. I forget the importance of being silly, of taking a moment to show love and to get muddy and not care.
Life from a 2 & 4 year olds perspective isn't really all bums, feet and thighs it is magical, joyful and new. I am so blessed to share this with them, to help cultivate it, but even more blessed to have them remind me that not everything has to be so serious and grown up all the time. A little bit of puddle jumping and tag really can make a big difference.
One thing I have to remind myself of as a Mother is to stop and smell the roses. To enjoy the little moments when they occur. I get so caught up in getting where we need to go and daily chores that I often don’t let myself enjoy motherhood.
This morning we woke up to about 1/4” of snow. Which may as well have been 3 feet to my kids. They were so excited. They begged me to go outside to play in the snow before we shuttled them off to school. For a split second I thought “but i was trying to get to the gym this morning before work”. Mind you the gym is a luxury for me. I rarely make time to go but desperately need to for my physical health and my mental health. So the selfish side of me just wanted to get out and fulfill my needs.
I thought better of it and we quickly got dressed (amazing how fast they dress themselves when they want to do something), suited up and out we went.
Their screams of laughter and excitement filled the neighborhood. We made snowballs, and a “snowman” with that 1/4” of snow. We brought some inside to conduct an experiment. But most of all we made a memory and I am so happy that I seized the rare opportunity to enjoy the snow with my 2 buddies.
It doesn’t take much to excite them and as parents I think we forget that 1/4” of snow is thrilling when you are 3 feet tall.
Do you have moments like this? What are your favorites?
As the newest member of the Franklin Goose team I have decided to write a post each week about parenthood from my perspective. Nothing revolutionary just a peak into the life and thoughts of a mother with 2 kids, ages 4 and 2. Maybe some tips and tricks, hopefully some random knowledge, and some humor.
The funny thing is that I have been a mother now for 4 years and I still can’t quite get used to it. I still think I can have a Saturday or a whole weekend to myself to sleep late or read a book. I keep wondering when it will sink in that this is my new life at least for the next 16 years.
I do know those years will go by very quickly and I will be back to having free time again and then I will be missing the kids being around.Which, is one of the first things I learned about parenthood, your feelings and emotions are all over the place, one minute you are calm and happier than you have ever been and the next you are in tears and completely out of patience.
Parenting is the ultimate journey and such a learning experience. I thought I was finished with my education but I am back at it. I read all about pregnancy, then birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering when I first started this journey. Now, I am reading about discipline. Who ever knew it could be so hard. Who ever knew it could be so fun.
I look forward to sharing my journey with you and hope you will continue sharing yours with us at the store and on the web.
The other day while I was visiting my sister and niece, I
got in trouble. I said something was “crap,” My sister had decided she did not
want that word used around her daughter and told me so. I was surprised at how
strongly my sister reacted because I had not considered that word as bad; however, after I thought about it,
I realized that it was a negative and crass term to use.
I started thinking about the other words I choose to use,
some rather carelessly, and I have decided that it’s time for me to watch what
I say and what I do. I especially want to make sure that my niece learns to
treat others with respect, and I know that I will be just one of the many
people from whom she will learn.
Think Before You
Speak
Children are always observing, and they will learn from
those closest to them how to treat other people. How do you speak to your
partner? Do you ever call him or her a negative name, even in jest? While those
in on the joke might know you mean no harm, if your son or daughter happens to
speak to another child the same way, it probably will offend that child.
Listen to how you speak to your loved ones. Would you want
your child to speak to them that way? Would you want them to speak to you that
way?
Think Before You React
How do you react when you are angry? Think about that for a
minute. Would you want your child to act the same way to you? Would you want
your child to act that way to another child?
How do you react in other situations, not just ones that
cause you anger? When I am teased, I will sometimes respond by punching the
person teasing me on the arm. It’s not a hard punch, just a light tap, but my
niece does not know her own strength. Should she imitate me, she might hurt
another child, and not just physically.
My niece is very grabby. She likes to reach out and grab
necklaces, glasses, and noses, and man, can those little fingers pinch. Because
she grabs at adults and babies, we have started telling her to be gentle. “Be
gentle with the baby,” we’ll say, or, “Be gentle with Auntie.” My niece listens
and responds by patting and stroking the other person with an open hand. She
sometimes pats a little hard, but hey, at least she’s trying! My nose can take
it.
Accentuate The
Positive
As your child grows, build up his or her strengths. What is
your child really good at? What interests him or her? Encourage your child to
grow in their talents. Find ways to motivate them. If your son enjoys coloring,
introduce him to other art projects. If your daughter has a dramatic flair, ask
her to tell you stories at bedtime or
put on plays to entertain the grown ups at Thanksgiving. Take an interest in
your child’s interests.
Look at their attributes, too. Is your daughter patient?
Does your son like to help you around the house? Encourage theses traits in
your children, and find ways to help them strengthen areas that they are weak
in.
Encourage your child to also see and celebrate the strengths
in others. Learning kindness and compassion will encourage them to respond positively
to other children when they go out in the world to daycare and preschool.
Eliminate The
Negative
There’s a lot of talk today about bullying, and it’s hard to
think that one day my niece will more than likely be picked on by her peers.
It’s even harder to think that she could possibly bully someone else. However,
I know from my own childhood experiences that being a bully is scarily easy. I
would not consider myself a mean person, but I can think of 2 different people
that I truly didn’t like at school. At the time, my actions towards those
people were done out of a sense of self-preservation, but now that I’m older, I
realize that I can’t excuse my behavior: I bullied those 2 girls. And I did it
because I was insecure.
I had a negative perception of myself and of those 2 girls, so to protect myself I made the choice to
hurt someone else. I hope that as my niece grows she will have a healthy and
strong self-esteem. That she will know who she is and be strong enough that the
words and actions of others will not damage her. I also hope that my niece will
learn respect and to look for the good in others so that when she feels
threatened, she will respond with kindness and not hate, with compassion and
not cruelty.
How have you helped your children learn to respect others?
How have you taught your children to react to anger? Leave us your stories and
tips in the comments below!
New parents aren’t the only people who have to prepare for a
baby’s arrival: grandparents also need to ready their homes and their bodies
for their new grandchild. Whether you’re a soon-to-be grandparent or a grandparent
many times over, getting your body ready is a must.
So Build Up Your
Upper Body Strength!
Hugging a snugly baby is such a joy, but it can be difficult
for someone who might not have the same upper body strength they did when they
were first a parent. Building your upper body strength will help with all of
the hugging and cuddling you’re looking forward to, plus those moments when
your daughter needs a break and hands you the baby. You don’t want to be caught
off guard!
A few basic exercises can help. Remember to start off slowly
and work at your own pace. You should also check with a doctor before beginning
any exercise routine.
Keep in mind that these exercises are not limited to just
grandparents. Whether you’re a new parent, uncle, or sister, being physically
prepared for a baby is a great idea. You’ll want to be ready for new baby, both
for the early months of cuddles and the later years of running after him or
her.
For more tips on how to prepare your body and your home for
your new grandchild, please join us this Thursday, at our Richmond store for
our new grandparent’s class. How To Prepare Your Home For Your New Grandchild
will be at 6:30 and will discuss everything from what items you should have in
your house and car to what you need to do to be physically prepared for a new
baby. Please RSVP for this class
either by calling our store at (804) 355-0595 or email us at [email protected].
We hope to see you there!
The expectant arrival of a new baby requires many
adjustments and changes, both for the parents involved and the rest of the
family. How do you help prepare your child for a new brother or sister?
Involve
Involve your child early on in your pregnancy. Franklin
Goose employee Amber had her son Cruz carry the pregnancy test to her husband
to tell him that there was going to be a Baby #3.
Start preparing for your new baby’s arrival by setting up
the nursery as soon as possible. Have your child help you put things away like
clothes and blankets.
Take your child to a couple of your doctor’s appointments.
Let them listen to the baby’s heartbeat. If you decide to find out the sex of
the baby, let your child in on the excitement. You can even make a game of it,
guessing whether the baby will be a boy or a girl. You can also make a game of
discussing what the baby will look like.
Discuss
Talk to your child everyday about the new baby. Read books
together about babies and siblings. Explain to him or her that the new baby
will be their best friend. Discuss their role as the older sibling to love and
teach the new baby.
Encourage your child to ask questions about the baby. Ask
your child questions, too! And when he or she asks, “Where do babies come
from?” keep in mind they aren’t asking you for The Talk, but they are asking
you to acknowledge their curiosity and desire to learn. Be honest and explain
what is happening inside of Mommy.
Show your child the sonogram and go through the weeks
discussing the baby’s progress. How big is the baby this week? What does it
look like? When the baby kicks or moves, allow your child to feel the movement.
Encourage your child to interact with babies. Set up play
dates with other families and help your child with how to properly hold, feed,
and even diaper a baby!
You can also purchase your child a doll to practice on.
Amber got both her boys dolls to play with, plus a toy stroller and diapers.
Delivery Day
Make plans for your child’s care when it’s time for you to
deliver. Go over these plans with your child early on so that when the time
comes they are not caught off guard.
After delivery, allow your child to see the new baby and to
hold him or her. Do not act nervous while your child is holding their new
sibling but encourage them.
You can also get your first child a Big Brother/Sister Gift.
When my sister was born, my parents got me a baby doll. (For a while after
that, I was convinced that my sister stopped by a toy store to buy me a gift
before she was born!)
Back Home
When you and the new baby arrive home, have your partner
hold the baby so that you can give your older child a hug immediately, allowing
them to subconsciously know that you are still accessible.
Have your older child give their new sibling a tour of the
house and introduce him or her to your family life. Ask for your child’s help
as you care for Baby. Repeatedly explain to your older child that you need
their help in teaching and caring for the baby.
Above all, remind your older child that the new baby loves
them and that both children are special and important to each other and to you.
Where did the summer go? Not to fear, we’ve got a few great
summer ideas for you and your little ones. Switch off that TV, power down the
computer, and set your cell phones to silent. Here are a few great summer
activities you can do at home with your kids.
Camp In Your Backyard
Pitch your tent in the backyard and get a campfire going.
Sing songs and tell stories around the campfire late into the night, and when
everyone gets sleepy-eyed, crawl into your sleeping bags. Stargaze with the
ones who can’t fall asleep, and talk deep. Enjoy the beautiful wisdom of your
children, and see if you can share a little of your own.
Build a Fort
If camping in the backyard isn’t for you, why not build a
fort in your living room. Get creative with bed sheets, blankets, rugs, couch
cushions—really, anything you have that you’re okay with repurposing for a
night (or two).
String up some twinkling lights and bring the stars inside.
Get some battery-operated candles and create an indoor campfire. For the
rambunctious crew, move your breakables out of the way and launch a pillow
fight!
Put On a Play
Set up a stage and encourage your playwrights to explore
their creativity. Grab costumes and props from your toy chest, closet, or local
thrift store. Divide into groups and perform for each other, or have each child
direct the rest in their own play.
And if no one’s interested in sitting still long enough to
write a play, no matter. Just improvise.
Go To The Drive-In
Stretch out a sheet and
prop it up, and get a projector (or make your own). Choose your film and get a few snacks.
But what about the cars? After all, what’s a drive-in
without a car to drive in? Pick up boxes
for everyone, get paper plates for the wheels, grab you art supplies, and
design your own car!
Whatever you do, have fun and make wonderful memories with
your kids!
Check out our Pinterest page for more inspiration! All pictures taken from pins found there.
Franklin Goose employee Carrie shares her
experiences with breastfeeding in honor of World Breastfeeding Week.
In honor of World
Breastfeeding Week, Sheri asked me to share my experience with
breastfeeding. It has not been easy and I would never tell anyone that nursing
a baby is an easy feat. However, I do tell people that it is, by far, the most
rewarding thing I have ever done. We (baby and I) have had lots issues and it
has been extremely stressful; she (baby) wasn’t gaining weight, I decreased my
own supply, we had latch issues, and now I have low supply. Without the support
of my husband, mom, and a very old friend, I would have given up months ago.
I did not have my daughter in
a hospital: we went to the (now closed) Complete Care Birthing Center in Richmond, VA,
and so I didn’t get to see a lactation consultant after her birth. My midwife
and the nurse tried to teach me what to do, but for some reason I just didn’t
get it. Virginia (my daughter) didn’t lose a full pound after birth, but it
took her a good three weeks to get back to her birth weight. I was feeding her
on one side for 30-45 minutes at a time for each feeding; I didn’t know that I
was supposed to offer each breast every time I nursed her. This caused my milk
to come in very late and decreased my milk supply right from the beginning. All
of this was very discouraging and I felt terrible for not knowing and not
feeding my baby enough.
We had multiple weight checks
in the beginning; we didn’t get to see our pediatrician for one of the visits
and the new doctor made me cry. Nobody really, ever makes me cry; I’m not a crier.
But, she was so negative: she talked down to me, and was just flat out rude!
She told me, “You are giving her enough to keep her hydrated, but there is no
way she will grow.”
I couldn’t believe what I was
hearing! She told me that some women just don’t make enough milk for their
babies, that I needed to give her formula, that there was no need to continue
breastfeeding, etc. Then, like that wasn’t enough, she bashed me for
co-sleeping and holding my baby too much. Needless to say, I left there feeling
defeated and like a terrible mother. Thankfully, I saw an amazing lactation consultant,
and she helped me increase my supply and become the “dairy cow” that my
daughter needed. It was awesome to see Virginia’s milk drunk face after her
first real meal! I was so happy that my milk was in and there and she was
getting full.
This lasted for a few months
and things were going great! I decided it was time for me to start running
again and get my pre-pregnancy body back! Horrible idea! After running for
about two weeks, I noticed Virginia getting fussier and nursing every 45
minutes to an hour. I thought it was a growth spurt. We had another appointment
soon, so I figured I would just talk to the doctor about it then. The day came
to go to the doctor, they weighed her, and she only gained 6 oz in one
month…not good. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t gaining weight! I thought she
looked fine. She was even ahead of her developmental milestones—people always
commented on how alert and social she was. She didn’t seem hungry; I, once
again, was feeling defeated. Our doctor gave us a month to get her chunky or we
would have to start looking in to her heath more. With the threat of having to
see a Gastrointestinal doctor looming over my head, we went back to see a
lactation consultant. We weighed Virginia after I fed her; she had only
transferred 2 oz from me. On one hand I was disappointed that it was my fault
(again), but on the other hand I was glad to know that it was my supply and
that nothing was wrong with her.
Now I was forced to
supplement after nursing her, all while trying to increase my own supply. My
husband found the Facebook page for Human Milk 4 Human Babies and we
posted that we were in search of some milk to help our daughter gain some
weight. Within a week we had three women come forward offering their frozen
milk to us. I was so incredibly moved by their generosity, I still get a little
choked up when I think about it. I know how hard it is to make milk and I
couldn’t imagine just giving it away! After a week of supplementing she had
gained 8 oz! I had a long chat with an old friend of mine that gave me a
wonderful pep talk to keep me going; not that the support from my husband and
mother weren’t enough, but sometimes you just need another breastfeeding mama
to give you that extra boost. She made me feel so much better about my decision
to supplement and use donor milk and that I was doing the right thing by
continuing to breastfeed.
My venture in increasing my
supply has been tricky; I am taking fenugreek, eating “lactation” cookies,
drinking tons of water and lactation tea, and no longer exercising as much as I
was. Things are slowly getting better, but I have a feeling this is going to be
a constant uphill battle for us. In the end, the struggle on my end is totally
worth it. I know that breast milk is what my daughter needs and I know that the
bond we have created because of breastfeeding will be treasured for a very long
time. So, I think the thing that I want all mamas to take away from this is:
don’t give up, it’s hard, but totally worth it!