Advice, ideas, discussions and stories about raising children, being pregnant, and planning a family. We love talking about living naturally & organically, baby wearing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding and having fun raising your children.
Gratitiude can present itself in so many ways. I always prided myself on expressing gratitude to strangers, for excellent customer service, etc. But in the last couple of years I feel I have become “too busy” to notice or certainly to think about all that I have for which to be grateful.
I usually express that I am grateful for my 2 wonderful children but beyond that it drops off. My poor husband gets none of it, and if a stranger went out of their way now I probably wouldn’t even notice it.
Therefore, in our house we instituted a “what I am grateful for” policy. Every evening at dinner we go around the table to each state what stood out that day for us. Was it a particularly beautiful day to play outside, did a friend do or say something nice to us that day, were we grateful for a much needed hug or kiss (hopefully not from a stranger)?
It has been so fun to spend some time thinking about the little things that make our days. Often times for my 4 year old she is being silly and is grateful for something dealing with her imaginary friend, and of course my 2 year old copies everything she says. But we just go with it and get a glimpse into their brains and see just what they are capable of creating with their own minds. And other times they say they are grateful for us, which melts our hearts.
After moving the baby shower event twice because of snow we are FINALLY going to be able to host our baby shower! We will have photos of the event to share with you later but I wanted to give you a sneak peek of our inspiration and some of the gifts we will be giving away. (yes, there is more than just the great swag bags we showed a few weeks ago on the blog.)
This time around we were really struggling with a theme but then Aden & Anais donated this amazing gift to giveaway that became the inspiration for the whole event. This will become a table runner for our food table.
aden & anais moonlight beads dream blanket
(yep one very lucky person gets to take this home tonight!)
Rockin Baby Sling generously donated this sling which we will be using as a runner on the beverage table (and yes, this goes home with someone tonight too!)
Rockin Baby Orange Blossom Special
So we had greys and wanted a neutral palette then we got inspiration from these adorable red cupcake holders which we will show you in later pics.
Our table will be decorated with this dinosaur (we are all staunch believers that dinos are not just for boys, girls love them too!).
We will have many other things as well but this is a great start to what we will have tonight. We are so excited about the sustainable ideas we have for decorating a shower. It is also a great way to give mom to be some fantastic gifts and to save money by using a gift as decoration. We love that none of the decorations will be thrown away at the end of the event either !
We can't wait to show you all of the amazing photos with the whole event pulled together! We are also excited to show you the rest of the great giveaways we have from Bumbleride, Maxi-Cosi and more!
Due to inclement weather last week, the bi-annual Franklin Goose Baby Shower event has been postponed to January 29. This event is currently full.
UPDATE: Once more due to Virginia's snowy weather, this event has been postponed to Wednesday, February 5.
We wanted to extend a big Franklin Goose thank you to the manufacturers who have contributed to our Franklin Goose Baby Shower Goodie Bags! Baby Shower guests will receive a Kushies reusable tote bag filled with several amazing gifts, including
Ladies, you are cordially invited to our bi-annual baby shower event on Wednesday, January 22. It's going to be so much fun! We'll have games and giveaways, plus food! We'll also have discussions on parenting and motherhood, and on what baby items you actually need.
We will also be featuring baby shower decor that is eco-responsible because we love being green!
This baby shower is for expectant mothers only, and space is limited, so please RSVP early. You can reserve your seat by calling us at (804) 355-0595 or emailing us at [email protected].
We can't wait to see you! It's going be a great night!
Franklin Goose employee Carrie shares her
experiences with breastfeeding in honor of World Breastfeeding Week.
In honor of World
Breastfeeding Week, Sheri asked me to share my experience with
breastfeeding. It has not been easy and I would never tell anyone that nursing
a baby is an easy feat. However, I do tell people that it is, by far, the most
rewarding thing I have ever done. We (baby and I) have had lots issues and it
has been extremely stressful; she (baby) wasn’t gaining weight, I decreased my
own supply, we had latch issues, and now I have low supply. Without the support
of my husband, mom, and a very old friend, I would have given up months ago.
I did not have my daughter in
a hospital: we went to the (now closed) Complete Care Birthing Center in Richmond, VA,
and so I didn’t get to see a lactation consultant after her birth. My midwife
and the nurse tried to teach me what to do, but for some reason I just didn’t
get it. Virginia (my daughter) didn’t lose a full pound after birth, but it
took her a good three weeks to get back to her birth weight. I was feeding her
on one side for 30-45 minutes at a time for each feeding; I didn’t know that I
was supposed to offer each breast every time I nursed her. This caused my milk
to come in very late and decreased my milk supply right from the beginning. All
of this was very discouraging and I felt terrible for not knowing and not
feeding my baby enough.
We had multiple weight checks
in the beginning; we didn’t get to see our pediatrician for one of the visits
and the new doctor made me cry. Nobody really, ever makes me cry; I’m not a crier.
But, she was so negative: she talked down to me, and was just flat out rude!
She told me, “You are giving her enough to keep her hydrated, but there is no
way she will grow.”
I couldn’t believe what I was
hearing! She told me that some women just don’t make enough milk for their
babies, that I needed to give her formula, that there was no need to continue
breastfeeding, etc. Then, like that wasn’t enough, she bashed me for
co-sleeping and holding my baby too much. Needless to say, I left there feeling
defeated and like a terrible mother. Thankfully, I saw an amazing lactation consultant,
and she helped me increase my supply and become the “dairy cow” that my
daughter needed. It was awesome to see Virginia’s milk drunk face after her
first real meal! I was so happy that my milk was in and there and she was
getting full.
This lasted for a few months
and things were going great! I decided it was time for me to start running
again and get my pre-pregnancy body back! Horrible idea! After running for
about two weeks, I noticed Virginia getting fussier and nursing every 45
minutes to an hour. I thought it was a growth spurt. We had another appointment
soon, so I figured I would just talk to the doctor about it then. The day came
to go to the doctor, they weighed her, and she only gained 6 oz in one
month…not good. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t gaining weight! I thought she
looked fine. She was even ahead of her developmental milestones—people always
commented on how alert and social she was. She didn’t seem hungry; I, once
again, was feeling defeated. Our doctor gave us a month to get her chunky or we
would have to start looking in to her heath more. With the threat of having to
see a Gastrointestinal doctor looming over my head, we went back to see a
lactation consultant. We weighed Virginia after I fed her; she had only
transferred 2 oz from me. On one hand I was disappointed that it was my fault
(again), but on the other hand I was glad to know that it was my supply and
that nothing was wrong with her.
Now I was forced to
supplement after nursing her, all while trying to increase my own supply. My
husband found the Facebook page for Human Milk 4 Human Babies and we
posted that we were in search of some milk to help our daughter gain some
weight. Within a week we had three women come forward offering their frozen
milk to us. I was so incredibly moved by their generosity, I still get a little
choked up when I think about it. I know how hard it is to make milk and I
couldn’t imagine just giving it away! After a week of supplementing she had
gained 8 oz! I had a long chat with an old friend of mine that gave me a
wonderful pep talk to keep me going; not that the support from my husband and
mother weren’t enough, but sometimes you just need another breastfeeding mama
to give you that extra boost. She made me feel so much better about my decision
to supplement and use donor milk and that I was doing the right thing by
continuing to breastfeed.
My venture in increasing my
supply has been tricky; I am taking fenugreek, eating “lactation” cookies,
drinking tons of water and lactation tea, and no longer exercising as much as I
was. Things are slowly getting better, but I have a feeling this is going to be
a constant uphill battle for us. In the end, the struggle on my end is totally
worth it. I know that breast milk is what my daughter needs and I know that the
bond we have created because of breastfeeding will be treasured for a very long
time. So, I think the thing that I want all mamas to take away from this is:
don’t give up, it’s hard, but totally worth it!
Hey Mommies! Have you heard? This Thursday Franklin Goose
will be hosting a New Mommy Meet-Up! This is a chance for new mothers and their
babies (ages 0-12 months) to make new friends.
The idea for the New Mommy Meet-Up was Stefanie’s, a member
of the Franklin Goose team. When I asked her why she wanted to start this for
the RVA community, she said, “When you become a new mom, you need to make
friends with other moms. A lot of times your relationships with women who are
not moms change, and you need a new support system.”
Stefanie also mentioned that meeting other moms with
children the same age as your child is great because it gives you and your
child the chance for lifelong friendships. Plus, it is really easy for new
mothers to find themselves isolated as they adjust to their new routine and
lifestyle, so having a community of mothers and friends is a great way to
socialize.
“The meet-up is an easy, non-committal,
low-pressure way to socialize,” says Stefanie. Expect to have a relaxed and fun
time with other women just like you.
The Details:
When: This Thursday, June 27, at 9 a.m.
Where: Meet at Franklin Goose in Carytown (3401 W. Cary St.,
Richmond, VA). Once everyone’s there, the group will head over to a Carytown
coffee shop.
Who: Moms of children 12 months and younger.
If your child is older than 12 months and you would like to be a part of a Mommy Meet-Up, too, don't worry! We hope to start one for mothers of older children in the future.
When I first started reading Rebecca's blog, A Beautiful Ruckus, I became very tired, juggling 4 two year olds, and life seemed exhausting to me! I continued to read and then was just in awe that she has not lost her mind! I honestly can not wrap my head around carrying, birthing and bringing 4 little babies home from the hospital. I love reading Rebecca's blog to see how she does it and maintains such a great perspective on life, motherhood and marriage-talk about a supermom!
Here is our interview with her:
What was your reaction when you found out you were having
quadruplets? How far along were you when they told you?
The first words out
of my mouth were, “Are you serious?!” The ultrasonographer told me that she
wouldn’t joke about something like that, but the idea of triplets or
quadruplets (they weren’t sure at the time) was overwhelming! I immediately
starting shaking and crying as the full weight of what was happening settled
in. They confirmed that there were quadruplets about ten days later. I was only
5 weeks, 5 days along at the initial ultrasound, but it’s a good thing they
found them early, because we needed all the time we could get to prepare for
them.
Many of our moms are overwhelmed when they find out they
are having twins, how did you not lose it when thinking about having 4?
Not lose it? Haha!
I should start by saying that my husband and I are strong Christians, but my
initial reaction was one of anger toward God. After struggling with infertility,
it seemed incredibly unfair to suddenly be given quadruplets. I mean, come on!
FOUR babies?! Seriously, that is a lot of kids! I eventually embraced the idea
before the kids were born, but I still have my freak out moments. Let’s just
say that nothing builds faith more than being faced with an impossible task!
What was your pregnancy like?
It was definitely a
day by day type of thing. We found out we were expecting quads in mid-September,
and we were initially told to expect bed rest by Thanksgiving. I actually made
it to the end of the year working full-time, and then spent four weeks at home
on modified bed rest. At 23 weeks, six days, I was admitted to the hospital for
pre-term labor (my contractions were 4 minutes apart!) and stayed there until
the kids were born four weeks later. I was allowed one 30 minute wheelchair
ride a day, but didn’t always make it that far. Weight-wise, I was told to gain
between 50-100 pounds. I only managed to pack on 20 pounds total in between the
intense nausea, the kids sucking the calories down as fast as I ate them, and
the fact that my stomach could only hold three bites at a time. My insides were
super squished!
Were you able to deliver naturally?
No, we did a
cesarean section. Generally speaking, anyone with triplets or more are not
allowed to deliver naturally. The day that I gave birth, was a blur. My
contractions had started back up that morning, and I had texted my husband that
they were putting me back on an IV drip. His boss sent him over from work just
in case it was time. I didn’t think it would be, but the nurse called the
doctor in to check on me, and I was already dilated to a 6 or 7 with Caleb
(baby A’s) sack protruding into the birth canal. The nurse hit the staff assist
button, the room flooded with doctors and nurses, and we were off to deliver
immediately. We made it to 27 weeks, 6 days gestation. I think we had a team of
35-40 people working on me and four babies as they came out. It was really
intense! After that, the kids spent three months in the Neo-Natal Intensive
Care Unit (NICU) before coming home.
In the beginning how were you able to balance feeding,
changing, bonding and sleeping?
That is a great
question which I wish I could answer. I honestly don’t remember the first three
months after they came home. I’ve been writing a blog since we found out we
were pregnant, and when I go back to read the (very sparse) posts from that
period, it’s like reading about someone else because I just don’t remember any
of it happening. What I do know is that people from church came to help us. The
babies came home in mid-May and for the entire summer, we had volunteers
helping us around the clock. You find out who your true friends are when they
are sitting next to you on the couch feeding babies week after week at 2am!
We had a schedule
posted in the kitchen and a notebook to write down feeding and pooping for each
kid so we wouldn’t mix them up. We learned to live in the moment and enjoy the
cuddling as we fed them, and to also snatch sleep where we could. When they
first came home, we were on a three hour feeding schedule. Our kids had some
major feeding difficulties, and it regularly took 1.5-2 hours to feed all four
of them. And that was with two adults working on it at the same time! Sleep was
a highly sought after commodity…and that probably explains why I remember so
little from the beginning.
Did you have family come in to help you?
My husband’s
extended family and my immediate family live in the area. They definitely
helped! But I also have to mention our church family! At the time, we didn’t go
to church there. It was my parents’ church. However, they explained the
situation to the congregation, and people volunteered left and right. Their
church provided six weeks worth of meals when the kids came home, provided most
of the additional help we needed during those first crucial months, and still
look in on us regularly. We have since switched to that church and are
thoroughly enjoying our new church family. The kids love getting to go to
church too since they have known these people their entire lives!
The logistics seem very overwhelming to me. What is it
like for you to go to the mall, or the grocery store?
Since they have
been born, we have been on lockdown with them during the winter seasons. During
the summers, we still tried to keep them out of enclosed public places like
grocery stores. Our kids were born very early and even now still don’t have
much of an immune system. If a germ even looks at them, they get sick. So we
haven’t been to the mall or grocery store with them yet, although we have been
to a fast food playland, the zoo, and the church nursery. As we start summer
this year, we are finally off of lockdown for good, so we will hopefully be
branching out. Yeehaw! What we look for now are places that are enclosed so
that they can’t escape from us. It’s surprising how fast 2-year-olds are on
those little legs!
As the kids get older do you find it getting easier or
harder?
It’s different. In
some ways it’s easier and in some ways harder. I’m probably just as exhausted
chasing toddlers as I was being up all night with newborns. We don’t have to
deal with portable oxygen tanks, apnea and bradycardia monitors, or severe
reflux and eating issues now, but we do have to chase after, teach how to get
along, and deal with opinionated toddlers these days.
Have you been able to maintain any hobbies or free time
for yourself?
Writing is a big
source of relaxation for me. I’ve been blogging for almost three years and also
doing a bit of freelance writing. If I can get my day out on paper and maybe
help some other parents with tips and tricks, then I feel like I can keep
going. I also manage to sneak in the occasional baking project (cupcakes are my
specialty!) and try to read for 20-30 minutes before bed each night. I think
it’s important for mommies to not lose themselves completely in their kids.
How do you and your husband find time for each other with
such a full family? Or do you?
We do the best we
can! Occasionally, I blog on the topic of “Marriage and Multiples.” Balancing
the most important relationship in the family unit, marriage, with the one that
often overshadows everything, kids, can be very difficult. We don’t go out on
dates regularly, but we do make time to text each other during the day, talk
about our days in the evenings, and enjoy some of our favorite TV shows
together. My husband and I are partners, and I am blessed that he pitches in
fully in the evenings with taking care of the kids and dinner cleanup. It gives
us more time together and helps me reserve a little bit of energy for him.
How old are your kids now? Are they very
similar in personalities?
Our kids are 2 years old now. Caleb, Abigail, Elijah, and Elizabeth all
have totally different personalities! Caleb is shy and reserved, Abby is
independent and a mischief maker, Eli is sweet, sensitive, and ridiculously
goofy, and Ellie is a very caring helper and total people person. They are a
riot all together!
Planning for your first child, picking out the right gear
etc. can be overwhelming for a mom having one baby. When you were
pregnant how did you plan for four?
I’m not sure it’s
possible to plan for four. A lot of times, you won’t know what you need until
you actually need it. And that’s okay. We said “yes” to every used item that
was offered to us, and people were extremely generous! We were able to pull
most of our needs from the Baby Depot that sprung up in our garage.
My advice is that
if you start feeling overwhelmed about all of the choices out there, cut
yourself some slack and realize that a lot of this stuff is new. Your mom and
grandma didn’t have them, and they survived. You will too. As far as the
must-haves, ask friends what their top 3-5 things are that they couldn’t live
without and start there. Just remember that you can always pick up a few extra
things after the baby is born as well! And diaper showers! If you have a couple
of people offer to throw you a shower, ask that at least one of them be a
diaper shower!
What is the biggest lesson you have learned about being a
mom?
Speak up! A lot of
people will offer to help, but won’t know how to. Just make it easy on everyone
involved and let them know specifically what you need. On the flip side, a lot
of people will think they are being helpful and won’t be. It’s okay to redirect
those well-meaning people to ways they can be more helpful. No one is a mind
reader. Your stress level will lower drastically if you make an effort to just
communicate verbally about what you need.
What advice would you give to moms who are pregnant with
multiples?
Find a support
system with other multiples. I don’t want to discount singleton moms at all,
but having multiples is really very different. I was given a lot of advice by
singleton moms that just didn’t apply to my situation. When I found a group of
other quad moms online, that’s when I finally didn’t feel completely strange.
In that group, I’m 100% normal. I have a normal family that does things the
normal way. When I have a question, they are my go-to group for advice from quad
moms’ perspectives. Those support groups are invaluable!
To find a support group for multiples in
your area, either ask around until you find one (that’s what FaceBook is for!)
or Google the name of your city and “multiples group” to see what comes up.
These groups are all over the place. Even if there isn’t an in-person meeting
in your city, there are tons and tons of websites and support groups online.
And often, it’s easier for a multiples’ mom to get online than to get out, so
it’s probably a win-win in the end!
I can imagine you get stopped all the time by people, does
this get old?
Yes and no. Before kids, I used to watch Jon and Kate plus
Eight in awe of how they did it. I totally get that our unique family is
fascinating. If people ask if they can ask a few questions, I will almost
always say yes. It’s all in the approach. But if a complete stranger blurts out
a question like, “did you have your tubes tied?” I’m much more likely to
deflect the question and move on. We also don’t appreciate the people who take
pictures of our family without asking us. Our kids aren’t a zoo exhibit and are
often treated like one. I think the hardest part, though, is when people are
rude in front of my children. They have little ears, and definitely hear more
than they let on. I know that will only get more difficult as they get older
and understand more.
Honestly though, I don’t mind the general questions. That’s
one of the reasons why I blog. To answer the questions and help keep the
speculation to a minimum. J
Best advice for a multiple mom to be? Keep a sense of humor!
Either the questions will drive you nuts and make you mad, or you can laugh it
off, write them down, and giggle at them later when you need a pick me up!
Remember that your attitude toward it will be observed and mimicked by your
kids. Learning to see the humor in the situation will make the growing up years
a little easier!
I have seen first hand how hard it is on couples whose babies have to stay in the NICU. What advice do you have for them?
My heart breaks for any mom who has to go through the NICU experience. One of the worst moments for me was being discharged from the hospital and having to walk out the doors while leaving my babies behind. Of course, they were getting the very best care, but as a mom, leaving without them is contrary to everything you expect those first few days to be like.
The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) experience is one of those things that simply can't be understood until you walk that path. Recovering from a pregnancy that often includes a cesarean section (that's major abdominal surgery!), and trying to balance the lack of sleep with pumping, and then adding the emotional and physical drain of watching your child in an isolette is incredibly difficult. As a mom who has walked that path, if there is any advice that I could pass on, it's this: It's okay to take a day off every now and then and take care of yourself. I didn't do it often, but there were several days over the course of our three month NICU stay that I simply didn't go to the hospital. I stayed home, cleaned my house, watched a movie, or went to lunch with a friend. I just needed that mental break and a chance to realize that life was still carrying on outside the doors of the hospital. Those few days really made a big difference in my ability to keep going and be there for my kids.
You can read all about Rebecca's journey on her blog. If you have any questions for her please feel free to leave them here or visit her on her blog to find the answers.
In our ongoing series this month honoring super moms we could not leave Krista out. She owns and operates Little Green Love. One of my favorite products we offer is artfully created by Krista. Her little birds end up all over the store as decoration bordering on obsession. We recently used it as a decoration at our baby shower event.
Krista was a customer of ours first. Then she came to us with these hats that I just had to have the second I saw them. Our customers did too, we almost completely sold out the first weekend! I love her commitment to the environment using reclaimed materials, her eye for putting patterns and colors together that always look amazing, and her creativity! Currently she is working on a very exciting project we came up with together, I can't wait to share it! Aside from Krista's work, she is an amazing mom, her son is so adorable, and interesting, always coming in the store with the best "toys" he has picked up from around the house, my favorite being the new paintbrush he couldn't part with for hours.
What made you think, "Hey, I could do this as a business, not just a hobby"?
I already had a business making
upcycled clothing for women so transitioning to baby goods was a logical move.
How did you balance your business and pregnancy?
I will admit to being less
productive while I was pregnant. I continued sewing and traveling to vend at
craft shows but I was easily distracted with things to make for the baby.
What changes have you made in your business now that your son is getting older and more active?
The biggest change has been
downsizing my studio. I used to work out of our remodeled garage but now we
have plans to make it into a family/play room. I moved all of my machines and
materials into a tiny bedroom that is a quarter of the size.
How much time are you able to devote to your business being a stay at home mom?
It varies week to week. My husband
takes our son for about an hour and a half every night for me to work, and I
get a couple of morning hours during the week from my mother-in-law. Other than
that I just hope for a two hour nap everyday but seldom get it. I often trade a
messy house for some sewing time.
How do come up with new ideas and designs?
Usually it’s when my son has a need
for something that I think I can make myself. I designed the birdie rattle
after our dog ate my son’s favorite rattling plushie. It was love at first site
when I gave him the birdie and I knew I had to make more.
What is the best part of owning your own business?
Having a creative job; they are
hard to come by. Even when it’s stressful I appreciate that I’m able to stay
home with my son and give my energy to something I feel passionately about.
Do you feel having your own business is good for you as it gives you an identity outside of being a mom?
Yes, it has allowed me to keep a
part of my former self. If I didn’t have the business though I’m sure I would
find something else to thrust myself into during naptime.
What dreams do you have for your business?
I’d like to be reaching more
people, turning them on to recycled clothing and goods. I would love to host workshops and teach
other mothers how easy it is to repurpose clothes for their kids.
Do you make most of your son's clothes?
No, that would be ideal, wouldn’t
it. It seems I am constantly working on a garment of some sort for him though.
For this spring/summer season I have managed to whip up 5 pairs of shorts, 2
pairs of pants, and a bucket hat….so far.
How do you find all of the materials you upcycle?
I am always on the hunt. Thrift
stores and yard sales of course, also hand-me-downs from family and craft
swapping with friends. People are always happy to give me their old things in
hopes of them having a new life.
What is the best thing about being a mom?
Watching the excitement of my son
experiencing everything for the first time, I feel so honored to be a part of
it. I never thought bugs and
trucks could be so exciting.
What advice would you give to a mom wanting to start her own business?
Make sure you have a great support
team and establish boundaries. It’s hard being a mom and having an at-home
business, you can’t leave your work behind at 5 o’clock. I don’t sew on the weekends; I take
that time to focus on my family and our home.
What do you hope your son learns from you about businss and doing your own thing?
That even seemingly crazy ideas are
worth pursuing if you feel passionately about them.
Why do you choose to use upcycled fabrics for your products?
Repurposing is the core value of my
life. It is not a fad or novelty to me. Salvaging used or remnant fabrics is my
way of fighting against our culture of waste.
I know you use a lot of reclaimed materials in your home as well, what is the best thing to you about reclaiming things?
I
have such a feeling of triumph when I bring an object back to life or reuse it.
I have conquered trash. It also gives my home décor it’s own unique story. I
love telling the history of an item when a friend comments on it.
If you could tell someone one thing about being a mom that no one else will tell them what would it be?
Motherhood is a surrender. You will
surrender your body, your time, your everything for this tiny baby and you
won’t think twice about it.
I hope you have enjoyed getting to know Krista! If you have questions for her please leave them in the comments. We will get answers for you! We are working on listing all of Krista's products on the site so they are avaible even if you aren't in Richmond. Stay tuned for the great new product Krista has been working on for us, we are both so excited we can hardly stand it!
We love our Supermoms! This month we’ve asked
you to share about your lives as mothers. Here are your answers! And we might
be biased, but we’re so proud to be in a community with moms like you!
Why do you love being a mom?
On the rare occasion my kids do something that
makes me smile and feel like I'm doing a good job. For example, we were outside
playing at a playground and there were 4 siblings there with 3 scooters. All
the older kids took the 3 scooters and took off leaving the youngest crying
because he wanted to ride one. My daughter ran to our house and got her scooter
for him to play with. I was so proud of her for being so kind and
noticing/fixing the problem.
(Sorry, I guess I shouldn't say on the
"rare occasion" I meant that I rarely get to witness these things
because they are in school or I'm just not there to see it.)
Stacy R.
Getting to see and be a part of so much of their
development. Watching them go from sweet sleepy babes, snuggling on my chest to
crawlers discovering their world to little people sitting there reading a book
to himself (one I've read to him a million times) and challenging boundaries,
becoming more confident.
Also motherhood has given me so much more
confidence as a person. I'm better at dealing with stress and trusting my gut,
seeing the big picture and letting go of the bad.
Kim S.
What did your mom teach you about being a mom?
To always keep them in your prayers and you
really don’t know everything because kids surprise us.
Bianca M.
That my brothers and I were the best
accomplishment of her life and to treat all people with respect!
Sarah G.
What is something no one told you about motherhood?
That it's okay to be frustrated and make
mistakes and feel like you don't know what the heck you are doing - your kids
will love you anyway!
Donna W.
Remember nobody's perfect. Everybody has a
different way of doing things and that's fine! Life will go on and the little
things that you screw up will soon be forgotten! Be a peaceful mama and kids
and hug every boo boo!
Kristen C.
That sometimes your child will say something do
profound that it will stop you in your tracks. And you'll know it will all be
OK.
Caley C.
What advice do you have for a first time mother?
Breathe!
I've learned we all seem to have the same or
similar worries and the babes have their own timetable. You aren't alone, you
aren't weird, and there is no shame in asking for help/support!
Katja W.L.
Hire a postpartum doula or have someone hire one
for you.
McRae B.
What is the funniest thing one of your children has done?
When my now 12 yr old son was 2, he was helping
me put away groceries. I had bought douche, and the box had opened, so all the
bottles (sans applicators) were loose in the bag. My son comes running to me,
douche bottle in each hand, yelling "Kool-aid, mommy, Kool-aid!" He
then proceeded to have a complete melt down, first because I said no, then
because I couldn't help laughing like crazy lol. 10 years later, I still get a
laugh out of it.
Amy F.
My potty training son tried to poop in the yard
the other day because the dog does it.
Sara L.
What is the best advice another mom gave you?
Don't get caught up in when your children hit
milestones compared to other people's children. They will all get there, it's
not a race. Just enjoy it!
Kyndal F.
She said "Don’t listen to other moms."
Bryanna S.
Smile and say "thank you" to the
random pieces of advice you get (from family, friends, and strangers); then do
what you want to do. You know you and you know your kid better than anyone.
*My mom told me this and included herself. Even
now (I have a 4.5 yo and a 9 m.o.) when she gives me advice, she reminds me
that I don't have to take it.
Evelyn C.
Be careful when confronting a mother, because
the kids will be playing at recess tomorrow with it all forgotten!
Lanette Z.
Enjoy your children at the stage they are in and
try not to rush it. They are really only little once. And, appreciate
(verbally) ANYTHING your hubby does to help with the baby.... even if he doesn’t
do it just like you do
Karyn W.
Get an amber necklace... and if you have no
energy Franklin Goose will mail it to you!!!! Every momma has been so thankful
to know you all will do this for them.
Christine G.
(Thanks, Christine! It’s our pleasure.)
What is your favorite Mothers’ Day memory?
Right now. Laying on the beach with Zoe sleeping
on my chest. I’ll never forget this moment. Amazing!
Katie C.
How many hugs did you get as gifts on Mother’s Day?
I got kisses from a baby that learned to
"give me a kiss" and "blow a kiss to mommy" this week. Best
present ever!
Katie C.
Thanks again to all of our parents who shared with us! Your
stories are wonderful, and your advice is a big help!
Supermoms
come from many different walks of life. Stacy is a Supermom. Her husband is in
the military, and Stacy and their 2 children have traveled the world with him. Sheri recently interviewed Stacy about her life as a supermom.
Tell us
about your family.
My husband Chris and I met in college when I was 19 and he
was 23. We got married when I was 21 and he was 24 and we have been
married for over 10 years, but he has only been around for about 5 of them due
to deployments or training/schools. After being married for a few years
we had our daughter Anna and 4 1/2 years later our son Jesse. We have
moved 5, soon to be 6, times within the U.S. and overseas. Anna is
currently 7 and Jesse is 3 and we are now preparing to move to Germany.
When you
had your daughter your husband was deployed, is that right? How was that
experience for you, having your first pregnancy without your husband?
Chris was actually there for Anna's birth, but he was
deployed the whole pregnancy. I got pregnant when he was home for a visit
about 4 months into the deployment, so when he came home I was 8 months
pregnant. It was hard not having him around for the pregnancy, especially
when you read the books, and go to classes alone, and they're talking about
pampering your wife during this time, etc. Also being emotional didn't
help make the deployment any easier! It was nice to have him back for the
delivery and he was wonderful about pampering me when he got back and during
the delivery. He was also a great help with our daughter both in the hospital
and at home.
Chris has
been deployed to Iraq once and Afghanistan twice. How did you cope with being
the only parent while he was away?
When Chris was in Iraq I was pregnant with Anna, which
wasn't ideal, but it was a lot easier than it is now that we have kids.
His first deployment to Afghanistan was when they changed deployment
lengths from 12 months to 15, and Chris got to be a part of group they send
ahead, and then he took command of a company while deployed that had been one
of the last to get there, so they were the last to return, turning the 15 month
deployment into a 17 month one for him. When he left Anna was almost 1
1/2, and when he came back she was almost 3. Going through the terrible
twos alone was not fun! I had a wonderful group of friends, whose
husbands were also deployed, that I was able to rely on. We helped each
other out with babysitting, getting to Dr. appointments, dealing with sick
kids, etc. We also lived in Italy at the time so we all travelled a lot
together, had girls nights out, and sleepovers with all the kids in tow.
I probably wouldn't have survived without them!
The second
deployment for Chris was only 6 months, and I was pregnant with Jesse when he
left and Anna was 4. It went a lot easier because Anna was out of the
terrible twos, and I still had a good amount of friends there, though some had
moved. The main challenge for that deployment was that we were going to
have to move right when Chris returned and that was right when Jesse was due, so
I ended up having to move by myself with Anna, and pregnant, before he got
back. He missed the birth, but he was on his way back from the
deployment, and we were able to Skype with him during the delivery while he was
at a stop in Germany.
What did
you do to make sure your daughter bonded with him during the times he was
deployed?
Anna has always been a "Daddy's Girl" so she
would talk to him on the phone, and we would Skype with him to make the
deployments easier on her, and he and I. She would help me put together
care packages and get presents for him for Christmases and his birthdays.
She really dealt with it very well, and I was very impressed with her.
Does it
make it harder having a spouse in the military when you have children?
Yes, it definitely makes the moves more challenging!
I try to make sure their rooms are basically the same every place we live
so at least that is familiar to them. The older they get the easier it is
getting, but I know that will get harder when they get even older and have
close friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. We do what we can to make
things go smoothly for them, and at the end of they day they have had life
experiences that many kids don't get and have coping mechanisms that a lot of
kids may not have either, which will only make them stronger, more well rounded
individuals.
In your
daughter’s life you have moved 4 times already and are getting ready to move
again. These moves are to different cultures and countries. How do you
manage to make the transitions as easy as possible on her?
We just try to get them excited about moving
somewhere new any way we can, if they have a friend already there we let them
know, we find out all the fun things to do there, remind them of how fun it
will be to make new friends, etc. With Anna this next move to Germany is
already exciting for her since she spent the majority of her life, so far, in
Europe. It was Italy so it's not exactly the same, but a lot of the
things she loved there will also be in Germany so she is excited. Jesse
has no idea what is going on, but he feeds off her excitement so it makes it a
little easier on us. Like I said before, I just try to make whatever home
we move into feel like home to them as quickly as possible by making their
rooms the same everywhere and most of the home layout similar.
When we
visited you at the base we were blown away by the strength all of the moms
showed while facing their husbands deployment and raising their children by
themselves. How do you keep your strength and stability in the midst of that?
Being in the military is like [having]
another family, and we rely heavily on each other both when the men are home
and when they are away because anyone one in the military knows that even when
they are home, they are rarely actually home. We find strength in our
children and trying to be there for them and make the time go by fast for them.
Stability...
well, we never really have that, and we have learned to not need it. I
know that sounds bad, but it really isn't! We can move at the drop of the
hat, pack our husbands for a deployment with an hours notice, balance everyone
in our home's schedules without the help of our husband because they can rarely
help, etc. Stability is a luxury, and in the military luxuries are
overrated.
Was Chris
able to be there for the birth of Jesse?
He wasn't there, but I knew he wouldn't be,
so I was able to plan for that. I am blessed with a wonderful family who
is always there to help when I call. I was able to stay with my parents
while I waited for Chris to return from the deployment, so I had Jesse while I
was staying with them, and Chris joined us a couple weeks after. We
stayed with them until we found a house, and then we moved. It was really
great, and it made everything so much easier.
How do
you explain to your children what Chris' job is that takes him away from the
family for long periods of time?
It is easier than it seems. They see
him in uniform daily when he is home, so they know he is in the Army. [W]hen he
goes for training we tell them where he's going and how long he'll be gone.
When he's in school it's the same, but usually longer than training.
When he deploys, we tell them he's deploying, or going to war, and that
we need to pray that he's safe and send him lots of love. I know that it
would be easier and less scary to sugar-coat things for them, but then how
would I explain if something bad did happen? I feel like it's easier for
them to know he's in danger, that way if anything arises, they aren't caught
off guard. It makes goodbyes more teary, but they are prepared.
Do you
have a hard time adjusting from being the sole active parent when he is away to
joint parenting when he comes home?
I manage the household, so the only
adjustment I have is that I have to cut the grass and clean up the dog's mess,
which I am happy to hand over the second he gets home! Since he is gone
so much, we find it easier for me to manage everything, but it doesn't make it
any less lonely. I do enjoy having him around when he can be, but when he
can't we do just fine. I just try to have "me" time whenever I
can get it and watch a movie I want to see or take a nice long bath, read a good
book (though that always takes forever when he's gone!)
Do you
have advice for new moms who have husbands in the military?
Find friends wherever you go and keep them!
I have friends in many duty stations, and while it is important to have
friends where you are, it is just as important to have friends afar. You
can rely on your local friends in ways you can't with ones far away, but you
can also rely on ones far away in ways you can't with local ones. Friends
and family are very important in helping you cope with your crazy, military
life. I guess I will revoke my previous statement and say that friends and
family are the only stability you need in the military, that is the only
stability you will be afforded so cherish it. They will be the ones to
help when you're having a hard time and they will be the ones to have fun with
when you do get the rare break from you kids, or even when you don't and you
have to bring the kids with you.
What are
some of your favorite tips for parents when moving to new places with little
ones?
This too shall pass. Just
kidding, but seriously! You can do everything "right" and
things still may not go the way you'd hoped. Every move is different, and
they will react differently at every age. Just do your best and remind
yourself that they will get used to it/over it before you know it. You're
not a bad parent, no matter what they say, [and] they will learn, in time, that
moving isn't the worst thing in the world. In fact, in today's military,
I don't think kids get as upset about moving, so long as no one is deploying!