(emily)
Viktor Khoma is the Operation Supervisor at Rockin’ Baby in
Richmond, VA, one of our favorite babywearing companies. Originally from Almaty, Kazakhstan, Viktor lives in Richmond with
his American wife Grace and his 8-month-old daughter Jolie. We asked Viktor to
tell us a little about his life as a new dad, and what it was like celebrating
Fathers Day for the first time, a day not observed in Kazakhstan.
Jolie and Viktor. Photo Credit: Grace Khoma
Were you excited when
you learned you were going to be a dad?
I always wanted to be a young dad so that my child and I
could share common interests and a common understanding of relationships,
music, and current styles of clothing.
I want to understand what my child likes. But when my wife, Grace,
became pregnant, my first feeling was fear. In that moment I realized the
responsibility that I would take on for the rest of my life.
Tell us a little bit
about Grace’s pregnancy and your transition to fatherhood? How did you prepare?
During her pregnancy, my wife changed exactly how most
pregnant women do: She spent a lot of time worrying, searching the internet,
and finding a thousand suggestions on how to have the perfect pregnancy, birth,
and child. What did I do? I didn’t prepare as much as Grace did. Not because I
was irresponsible, but I knew that I couldn’t be prepared for something like
this.
Jolie visiting Viktor at Rockin Baby
What was it like when
you first saw Jolie?
After a long and difficult labor, the first thing I felt was
relief that we did it, then thankful that she was healthy [and] beautiful. She
looked just like me.
Do you find that your
values and parenting decisions differ from those of American fathers? How do
you and Grace handle differences in parenting that are possible the result of
having different cultural backgrounds?
I can’t judge the values of fathers in America. For myself
and Grace, even though we are from different cultures and world views, we value
Christian principles in our family and invest these in her life so that she
will grow up to be someone who loves others, appreciates life and what is in
her heart. When it comes to parenting, we have different views ,but we try to
talk to each other and make decisions together that are right for our daughter.
How do you and Grace
plan to teach Jolie about both your nations, Kazakhstan and America, and their
cultures?
Of course our daughter will never be able to understand the
life I had in Kazakhstan, but the cultural habits are in her blood. Our plan is
to speak Russian at home so that she can know two languages from the start.
Through that I can surround her with the peculiarities of my culture.
Jolie tries on a Kazakh traditional hat and vest. Photo Credit: Grace Khoma
What’s your favorite
thing about being a dad so far?
I have two favorite things: When Jolie wakes up around
midnight and stands in her crib (usually saying “ ma- ma- ma”), waiting and
knowing that one of us will come get her; and when I come home from work, walk
through the doorway and see a little miracle crawling straight towards me.
Did you enjoy your
first Fathers Day this year? I know it’s not a holiday you’ve celebrated
before.
In Kazakhstan we don’t celebrate Father’s Day. I’m not sure
there needs to be a day to show that we love and value our loved ones. My first
Father’s day was unusual, but it was nice to be congratulated by my two
favorite ladies, and know that they love and appreciate what I do for them.
What advice would you
give to parents like you who are part of multicultural families?
Never try to prove that your cultural values are better or
more important than those of your spouse. Marriage is first about understanding
and supporting each other. Therefore you must talk through every decision,
respect, love and have patience for each other.
Thank you, Viktor, for sharing with us!